It's not just acerbic --- it's infrequent!
One of these things is not like the others, One of these things is not quite the same - a riposte
I recently published a series of photos which compared neighboring buildings to the new kid on the block, the Siena. I had also earlier made fun of the mosaic by comparing it to a Paint-by-Number. For this temerity I was called to task (emailed to task, actually), by a local intellectual, named Quasi Cognoscento, who wished to respond to my snarkiness.
We met at Raymond's and sat in one of the comfortable booths there. Despite his disapprobation (he thought I was a retrobate, fer Pete's sake and who the hell is Pete anyway?), Mr Cognoscento and I hit if off.
He waxed expansive (and occasionally his mustache), telling me about himself. He is the heir presumptive to the Sternbock Venti-Macchiato coffee chain empire. (He had been the heir consumptive in his early years, but resorted to a European spa tour to take the cure and the waters. During this time he matured from spoiled brat to well-preserved proto-patriarch. He had been a pest in Budapest, was not as bad in Marienbad, was VERY Karlovy Vary, and was positively effervescent with his Baden-Baden badinage; he admitted soto voce that he had also run with a fast crowd for a while in Miami, and due to his logorrhea had been known to his erstwhile boyz as 'Most Voluble Playuh'.)
This worldly man has since settled in Montclair, and we are all richer for his presence, he assured me. He has taken up residence in the Siena, hence his desire to set the record straight. He started off by expressing his disappointment that Cosí, which had originally expressed interest in occupying one of the first-floor locations, had pulled out. "I am a Cosí fan, tutti giorni", he confided, but then adopted a sterner tone toward me, as he got down to the matter at hand.
"Firstly", he harrumphed peremptorily, "many people LIKE Paint-by-Number."
"So do I", I responded. Paint, er point taken.
"Secondly, you are ignorant of a very important design breakthrough, documented along the top of the building."
"What you and everyone else are unaware of is the Post-Post-Post-Postmodern nature of the pattern of squares to be seen there. This 'minimalist-forgetful' style not only anticipates future theories of architecture, but actually creates, then critiques a couple of them along the way, in assembly line fashion; why wait?
Impressed, you reality-based rube?"
"Son of a bitch", I murmurred, "and here I just thought someone had just screwed up. I should have known better.
AFTER ALL, THIS IS MONTCLAIR."
Nom de blog:
Monty Einwohner de Crane-Towne
I like New York in June -- how about you?
I like a Gershwin tune; again, how 'bout U?
Bad things (Jeez, I HATE 'em!!!)
Watching videos of UB40, B-52's and U2 on YouTube
Driving the SPEED LIMIT in Montclair, to do my bit for safety
To use 'frippery' in a sentence, as in:
'The British guy said "What's all this frippery, then?"' (Hmmm, one goal down, two to go)
To circumnavigate the globe exclusively by making right turns
To try to bring some joy and thoughtfulness into your day, beloved reader
Explanation of the nom-de-blog: